I Swear I'm Not Crazy!

Today I'm going to talk about support systems.

Do you have one? Is it a good one? Is it large and flourishing? Do they make you feel like you're not insane in the membrane?

Well good for you!!!

I don't!

My family thinks I'm crazy and pay "too much attention to my body." Whatever the hell that means. My mom is in complete denial about EDS and says her family is only "double jointed" and has no genetic disorder. Even though that IS the EDS!! She tells me I have so many problems she doesn't understand how I'm her daughter..

Well... You gave them to me, mom. So... Ya. Makes sense I'm you're daughter..

They are all in denial.

My dad doesn't not believe me. He just doesn't think its as bad as it is. That is partially my fault though. I'm tired of telling them things about my health that they question me about and argue about. It's honestly just not worth the hassle.

I live with my boyfriend that sort of believes me but sort of doesn't. Either way... He isn't very supportive of what I experience on a daily basis.

I felt totally alone and actually started to believe the doctors that maybe I AM just crazy. (Before my diagnosis). I honestly thought about just going to a psych ward because I had obviously lost my shit.

That was before I found the one person that believed me. And now she is my best friend. And honestly. She gave me the most meaningful gift I got have ever received. Honest to goodness belief in me. She believed me about my symptoms. She listened to what was going on with my body. She heard me. She showed me empathy. She gave me direction. She pushed me to keep searching. She pushed me to self advocate. She came with me to appointments. She helped me research. She found people that could help go over my test results when my doctors dismissed things. She became my support system. And I love her. I love her for trusting me and believing that I'm not crazy.

I feel bad about it though.

Not everyone has a support system with many people in it. Others are like me that live with those that don't listen or don't understand and don't care to.

So she is the only one I have. And I feel like that puts a lot on her in our relationship. It makes me feel like a burden sometimes. Because she knows I have no one else.

I know that I am supportive of her and we help each other. He family is very supportive. But its still different when they can't feel what she does. And I get to share that with her. Something even her family still can't understand. But we share being chronically ill.

Its hard feeling like a burden. Its hard having no support system.

While I'm constantly thankful and blessed to have her in my life and on my side. I honestly don't think I give her as much as she does me.

She will never understand all that she has given to me. She saved me.

So, again. I ask you. Do you have a support system?

Of course you all do.... Me. :)

I will be there for you when you have no one else if you need. Because if anyone knows what it's like to have no one believe you or just stand in your corner, its me.

I know how defeating and devastating it is. Mentally and emotionally. And eventually physically.

People need people. Whether healthy or sick. We ALL need someone.

Never be ashamed to ask for help. Never be ashamed because you need someone to believe you. Never be ashamed because you're sick.

And I'm so sorry to those that are feeling alone. Just know... You'll never be alone.