Monday, March 9, 2015

Falling Asleep On The Job

No one plans to fall asleep on the job. But lets face it... It happens.

And as you all know, I'm an at home mom. So I'm ALWAYS on the job.. And falling asleep during the day is never a good thing here. Unless my kids are gone and I'm alone. Which is basically never. 

However.. I can't lie and say it never happens. Not that I plan to take a nap or anything. I don't. I know my children are insane and shouldn't' go unsupervised. They find the strangest things to get into when I'm not looking. Or they fight with each other and then hit each other and then complain about it. Ridiculous. 

Sometimes though, I can't help it. Not like "I am so tired that I just let myself fall asleep for a few minutes" can't help it. But like full on, for real, can NOT help it! I will just fall asleep for who knows how long and I'm totally unaware of it even happening until I wake up on the couch, with or without drool on my face. (Yes, I'm a drooler.. I hate it but I can't do anything about that so whatever.)

Sometimes, it's only for a few minutes. Sometimes though, it may be an hour. 

It is partially due to my "possible" narcolepsy (I say possible because I didn't finish the testing, but my sleep study doc was pretty sure I have it, and honestly, so am I). But it also a result of my blood pressure bottoming out.

The latter of the two really worried me also. It happens randomly, no warning or anything. Just all the sudden, it plummets. And no one knows why. Spoooooookkkkkyyyyy. 

It's really frustrating though, and I wish I knew the answer. I feel like shit when it happens, get dizzy and nauseous, and everything in my body feels REALLLYYYY heavy. Like even thinking of moving is impossible. 

Then, I may or may not pass out. No one likes passing out, of course... But honestly, when I do, I wake up after my blood pressure has normalized so I don't have to feel like shit anymore. 

So it's kind of double edged sword. Stay awake and feel like ass, or pass out and wake feeling better. 

I am suppose to be wearing a heart monitor right now (for 30 f***ing days!!) but had to take it off early because I'm allergic to it. (Which is a whole other story. My skin is peeling off now. It's bad. But you can read more about that here How Do You Not Understand. )

So since I had to take it off, who knows what it found or didn't. I don't even know if whatever is going on with my blood pressure is even related to my heart rate or not. But seriously, something needs to get figured out.

How am I suppose to function when I can't function?! It's not even JUST the blood pressure (even though, that is one of my most debilitating symptoms) but I also can't stand or walk for long (roughly 5 minutes) periods of time because then I can't breath anymore. I have to sit back down or squat. And anytime I squat and stand back up, I get lightheaded. 

My life is so fun! Hopefully I can get some answers soon. But as of now... It's not looking likely. 

Anyone suffer from random blood pressure changes, narcolepsy, or passing out on a regular basis? Are you working or unable? How do you cope with it? Comment below! 

Friday, March 6, 2015

This Is SOOOOO Important!!

Alright. Being a women is awesome and all but there are things that just suck about it too. Like having a period. It's no fun. Or getting Pap smears.

But! Pap smears are soooooo important!!!!!

I've heard recently that doctors are now saying if you have a clear pap when you're in your teens or twenties, it's okay to wait a few years in between getting them done. No longer do we all need to go annually.

Sounds awesome, right?! I mean, let's face it... Pap's are uncomfortable and embarrassing. No one wants someone they hardly know all up in their shit. I get it! Trust me! I hate them.

And I don't know who they think they are kidding by adding a stupid picture of a puppy or whatever on the ceiling. It is NOT calming. It's weird. And it doesn't make the situation any less awful.

However, they are sooooo important!!!! Get them EVERY SINGLE YEAR!!!! Do not wait 3 years because you had a good pap previously. Get them every year!! That is why they are called the annual well woman's exam. It takes a few minutes of being uncomfortable but could save your life!

I go every year. And I have gone every year since my very first one (back in my teens when I started having sex). Every one needs to go as soon as they become sexually active.

I have always had clear paps. ALWAYS!!! Every. Single. Year.

Until this year.

Do you know how scary it is to be told your pap came back with abnormal cells? I hope none of you do. But it's scary.

I had to go and have a colposcopy (a biopsy) and my biopsy sent off for further evaluation.

I went back to my doctor after my results came back and I have precancerous cells. They did cryosurgery to freeze the cells of my cervix off. I have to go back in a few weeks to make sure all the abnormal cells are gone. If not, I will need further treatment.

It's very scary. I am very scared. It's weird knowing I may or may not still have cells that are just waiting to turn into cancer in my body.

The one thing I immediately thought about when I was told I have precancerous cells is just how glad I am I go every year.

Precancerous cells are just that. Pre cancer. It's not cancer yet. But if left there, it WILL become cancer.

Even though I have had clear paps my whole life until now, I always went anyway. Could you imagine how bad this could have been if I skipped years because they WERE clear in the past?

I don't even want to think about it.

Stay on top of your health. Keep getting checked even when there doesn't seem to be a problem.

Pap smears are just that. They are for cancer SCREENING! Do not wait until you have symptoms. Do not wait because your last pap was clear. Do not play games with your health. I am only in my mid twenties. Cancer is not dependent on age.


I am so glad I do not have cancer. But I wouldn't have even known I was at risk if I didn't go regularly.

I hope you all take precaution with your health and get checked every year. If not, I hope my story will inspire you to start.

5 minutes of discomfort is worth knowing you're safe.

Do you all go every year? If not, will you start? Let me know in a comment below.  

Monday, February 23, 2015

They STILL Don't Get IT!

I don't usually talk about my health conditions to my family. I talk to my friends and I write this blog about it instead.

Why don't I talk about it? Because they still don't get it!!!! And it's soooooooooo FRUSTRATING!!!

I made the mistake of talking about my bladder prolapse with my (future) mother in law. Now, I've mentioned to her before all the things wrong with my body numerous times throughout the years. Ya know what she said when I told her about my bladder....

"Well that is strange. Usually only older women that have had large babies born vaginally get bladder prolapses. You didn't have any of that and you're so young. I don't understand how that happened to you."

SERIOUSLY!!!!???? I've only told you how many times about my EDS???!!

I have a f***ing connective tissue disorder!!!!!!! How can I make that more clear???!!!!

Please! If anyone has the answer, let me know!

I don't understand how people just don't get it! I explain what it is, what it means, and how it affects EVERYTHING in my body; and they still are shocked when I tell them something that makes sense because of my illness.

Even my fiance doesn't really listen. Nor does he really care to. (Although, I think that is more because he doesn't like to feel helpless and knowing there is so much wrong means he can't do anything. It's hard for him too....)

I told him about my pills for my gastroparesis and exocrine pancreatic insufficiency (which I've been taking for months) and he was like "ya ya, okay." He just doesn't want to hear it.

Usually it doesn't frustrate me because I know this about my family, but right now, I'm actually pretty pissed about it!

People just don't listen! I know I'm young! I know!!!!!!!!! But I have a chronic illness that affects everything in my body and will continue to break my body down until I eventually die... Why is that hard to believe? It's like they think I'm making it up or something... How can I be making it up?!

I have a neurologist, neurosurgeon, psychiatrist, cardiologist, gastroenterologist, endocrinologist, OBGYN, urologist, rheumotologist, dermatologist, physical therapy, and my pcp of course. 12 f***ing dooctors and they think I'm making it up?! Wouldn't I be locked away in an mental hospital for wasting all these peoples time if nothing was wrong with me?! Wouldn't they treat my craziness if I was just a crazy person? Why do people not understand I AM SICK!????

It makes no sense!!!!

Anyone else out there with people in your life that just don't get it?! What do you do cope? Do you just ignore them or speak out? Share your experience below.