I am really depressed today. I don't know why. Nothing has changed. Nothing happened to make me depressed. I just am. And I hate it...
I go through these dips every so often for no reason it seems.... It really makes everything so much challenging. I already lack motivation because, you know... I'm chronically ill and that just comes with the territory.. But this is different..
I don't want to do anything but sleep all day and drown out the world. And I can't because I'm a mom and I have two little people depending on me. And that just makes me feel worse.
Like I failed them by being so horrible or something. I know this will pass and I will be back to my normal optimistic self (even as my body literally falls apart) soon.. But waiting for it to come and act like everything is fine is just totally draining and makes me even more depressed.
People always say when you're depressed to just get up and get out if you can. Do something that you usually enjoy. It's hard because you don't want to, but it will help bring you out of the depression.
Because depression is a cycle. An evil vicious cycle. You get depressed and isolate yourself and then the isolation and lack of motivation makes you even more depressed. And the cycle continues...
Knowing this will pass is not comforting right now though. I want it gone now! I want to feel okay and I just don't. Everything seems so bleak right now...
I just recently found out that I will have to change my major in school because it isn't offered and I can't travel to another college that does offer it... I was all proactive before... I mean, I realized this more than a week ago.. But today, it's all I can think about. I don't want to change my major. That is why I CHOSE it!!! Ugh..
I also just found out last week after meeting with my urologist that my bladder is only slightly prolapsed and will not require surgery. Good news!!!! But even that has come with complications.. He thinks my symptoms are mostly neurological.. How do I fix that??!! He said that my muscle strength is still good, and that my saving grace with my prolapse (for now) is hat I never delivered my children naturally (both were c-sections). He also said that will my EDS, it will only get worse in time and IF I ever DID have the surgery, there are A LOT of risks... Which completely freaked me out.
I usually am so good at taking the good and bad and just figuring out what can be done and how I'm going to do it. Things very rarely get to me... So why now?! Why am I depressed today?!
Seriously, when it comes out of the blue like this, it's just an even bigger downer...
Anyone else experience random depression? What do you do to combat it?
I go through these dips every so often for no reason it seems.... It really makes everything so much challenging. I already lack motivation because, you know... I'm chronically ill and that just comes with the territory.. But this is different..
I don't want to do anything but sleep all day and drown out the world. And I can't because I'm a mom and I have two little people depending on me. And that just makes me feel worse.
Like I failed them by being so horrible or something. I know this will pass and I will be back to my normal optimistic self (even as my body literally falls apart) soon.. But waiting for it to come and act like everything is fine is just totally draining and makes me even more depressed.
People always say when you're depressed to just get up and get out if you can. Do something that you usually enjoy. It's hard because you don't want to, but it will help bring you out of the depression.
Because depression is a cycle. An evil vicious cycle. You get depressed and isolate yourself and then the isolation and lack of motivation makes you even more depressed. And the cycle continues...
Knowing this will pass is not comforting right now though. I want it gone now! I want to feel okay and I just don't. Everything seems so bleak right now...
I just recently found out that I will have to change my major in school because it isn't offered and I can't travel to another college that does offer it... I was all proactive before... I mean, I realized this more than a week ago.. But today, it's all I can think about. I don't want to change my major. That is why I CHOSE it!!! Ugh..
I also just found out last week after meeting with my urologist that my bladder is only slightly prolapsed and will not require surgery. Good news!!!! But even that has come with complications.. He thinks my symptoms are mostly neurological.. How do I fix that??!! He said that my muscle strength is still good, and that my saving grace with my prolapse (for now) is hat I never delivered my children naturally (both were c-sections). He also said that will my EDS, it will only get worse in time and IF I ever DID have the surgery, there are A LOT of risks... Which completely freaked me out.
I usually am so good at taking the good and bad and just figuring out what can be done and how I'm going to do it. Things very rarely get to me... So why now?! Why am I depressed today?!
Seriously, when it comes out of the blue like this, it's just an even bigger downer...
Anyone else experience random depression? What do you do to combat it?
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